I missed your skin when you were east,

A boy who loves me very much wrote this about me. I loved him once, and broke his heart, here's the aftermath. I'm not proud, I hate that I could hurt someone. I love what and how he writes. How he could be in Indiana and yet we could be so in love. If only distance truly made the heart grow fonder.

The volume is all the way down,
and it's my favorite song because quiet is my favorite sound,
That's why i'm happiest when you aren't around,
That's why i hate this town.

You're the accident plaguing my car,
breaking my windows and making me cry really hard,
you were all i ever really had,
and now that you're gone, i miss it.
You were the light in my bulb,
you were the sun and now you aren't.
now you aren't.
now you aren't

The only bit of you that's left,
is the dust on my carpet
i'll never sweep it,
i'll just leave it.


These are the pictures you took from my bed,
over there is where you redefined the word head,
now it only makes me sad.
This is where i broke down after you left.

I think you were selfish,
lived this life and just left it,
you said fuck it,
and bit the bullet.



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Now playing: Panic At The Disco - Northern Downpour
via FoxyTunes

into a place where thoughts can bloom.

if it truly existed, i wonder what it would look like.
would it be bountiful in flowers,
and in butterflies and in colors?
would it smell of summer flowers and
her purfume?
would it consist of the wishes we make
in our slumber?
i imagine it would, if it could, and it should,
the sun and moon would share the sky
in some sort of sign that we could all
be in the same place, while being so different.
nothing would matter, life would be simple,
and no one would know anything but love,
and happiness,
no lies, no missing children, no rape.
tears would be a thing of the past,
a painting, on the wall of my head is all it truly is,
but lord, how i pray it could be more,
but that's what we've all been doing since before,
before before it.
and where has it gotten us?
i imagine it's a place where people say
"be careful what you wish for" not because
it's cliche, but because it's truth.
can you just take a second, and imagine,
what that would be like?
what it would be like?



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Now playing: Panic At The Disco - Do You Know What I'm Seeing?
via FoxyTunes

something.

something about hips,
something about lips,
and how they move so
smooth.
something about thighs,
something about lies,
and how they slip through so
smooth.

something about your eyes
and your hair,
skin and freckles above your nose,
the scarce hair upon your chest,
something about it
drives me crazy.



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Now playing: The Format - Dog Problems
via FoxyTunes

birds.

flight. imagine if we could,
huddle, together
on the electric lines,
close but not too close,
together, feathers,
see the dip beneath our feet,
as we watch, the people below
unaware of our presence.

flight, imagine if we could,
never speak a word,
yet say so much
creating new homes,
whenever they tear one down
see the lack of comfort,
without the nest we call home,
because the people below
are unaware of our presence

flight, imagine if we could,
see the things they do,
when they thing no one
is looking.
our small bodies,
so delicate and beautiful,
the yearning wouldn't be yearning
anymore, would it.

love, imagine if we could,
hold everyone close
and let it all go,
forgive and forget,
just have open arms,
but we all have our demons,
and our walls,
so we are unaware of it's presence.

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Now playing: Murder By Death - Killbot 2000
via FoxyTunes

not a poem.

it is not my job to judge anyone. everyone has character flaws and we have all done things we are ashamed of. yes we are human and we make mistakes and thank God we do. i feel that i am nothing compared to people like Martin Luther King Jr or Ghandi or Mother Theresa. these were good people and yet were persecuted. we are nothing, therefore it is not our place to pass judgement on someone who is gay, someone from a different race or culture or of a different gender or how someone dresses. that is not okay. i understand you might disagree with it, and their lifestyle choices, but that is their choice. i'm sure you wouldn't like me dictating your decisions. why should the laws and others do that for people? we are all amazing and selfish and shallow to certain degrees. we do not have the right to judge any other human on this planet. that's not our job. God does that. He takes care of it. we cannot control anyone or everyone so stop.

so next time you see two men walking down the street holding hands, be glad that they're doing what they want. we should all do what we want.don't judge. this is earth. there will always be things people disagree with. always.

remember this.

hey, I'm doing alright.

open mouths. closed eyes.
heavy breathing,
lips biting.
legs embracing,
heart fluttering, blood racing.
naked touching,
hips to hips,
the fingers race over my curves,
from thigh,
to hip,
to belly,
up my spine,
around my shoulder,
a simple path to my heart,
maybe but not really because i'm much more then that.
over to my face,
warm hand around my ear,
tongue in cheek, tongue on neck,
tongue in places...
all over the mountains.
i could feel it, defrost, that black hole where my heart should have been,
began to become filled again,
and legs are tangled in sheets
and blankets
and each other.
i wrap myself over and around,
and know that this, that this, that this.
is it.