catharsis.

catharsis.
the purging of the emotions or revealing of emotion tensions, through certain types of art. or, restores and refreshes the spirit.

running my mouth over the words i meant to say
my memories tell me i did
but i know better then that
you see there is a wall somewhere in my chest
that i've built up
and built down and up and down and
i. just. don't. want. to. anymore.
this barrier to
my sea
it's brittle and falling apart.
anyone can crawl their way in,
i'm sure i don't make it hard.
the bricks are old, the concrete no longer
held by its magical glue.
cause the truth is
if you really wanted to know,
you'd bring a sledgehammer to my wall
and tear it down yourself,
with a passion i wouldn't recognize.
i don't know if the memories are
merely just a dream,
but dreams are just wishes we make in our sleep
and tears and laughter emerge from my slumber
while i toss and turn.
do you dream as i? do you dream as i?
this message will toss and turn and mangle its way through
way past my barrier,
the bricks and concrete
even past my heart
right into my bones until it's a part of me.
my breath is shallow and short
as i begin to pick up the pieces
i tore down for you
this barrier can only be open for so long
before it needs to be remedied
whether or not you're in it
i've got to close back up,
so i take my bricks and concrete
and wonder if you'll ever get
past me.

i wrote this a long time ago. it's one of my favorites.